aiyo... desperation... confuse!!!

Oh God!!! Honestly, what i feel now is desperation to have someone that can by my side, what i mean is a boyfriend. is it right or wrong? What my believe is, it's a very wrong thing to have those desperation! It's like a very evil thought that i have. Another conversation in my mind is to tell myself to delete the thought immediately. ARRR~! It's like, when i feel "he" is the right person, "he'll" just leave me, as those i didn't feel "he" is the right one will just come... Is this the fact? Of course i know, there will be a right time to get the right person, but then i just can't wait it patiently! everytime i feel lonely, not because i don't have friends, but it's because i don't have a person that can by my side long lasting... wow! today i'm so emotional! DELETE! DELETE! DELETE~!!!!

I'm purple?

This is a picture I took nearby my house. I was arranging the photos and yet, I like this picture very much. I feel that it's like myself... For me, purple is a mysterious colour just like what I have with my image. As my close friends will know, I like green, not because of the colour, but the meaning really suites me. Yes, green means envy, I do always envy, I'll always ask and think... Why I will be like this? Is it wrong to envy on somebody? Then, every time I have this kind of feelings, I will just stop it, as my belief, this is wrong, I can't be like this, no body will like me if I show up. But then, now I know, it's okay to envy, it's normal. People won't change, I won't change as well. ^^

my cutie students~

she's one of my favourite student, yee jun. a cute girl with bright eyes but petite. she's always understand why i thought them that way. everytime i saw here drawing, i will feel very successful. they had their result after i thought them for about 9 month. Now i had to resind. i was thinking of this long time ago, but everytime i saw them, i will just delete the idea from my mind. after the advance, i know that, i can't just think of others, i should responsible to myself too. i've been thinking too much for others... i should a chance for my ownself. when i told them i'm not going to teach them any more, they'll like asking questions, i'll feel the pain and want to pull back again, but i know, i can't pull back any more, for my future, for my responsibility and for my own idea. but i also feel happy when they ask me to stay, that's the prove that they received my love, they will remember me. happy~ haha!

yee jun~ cute right? if i'm not mistaken, she's just standard 1 or 2.

aiyo~ this two always make me headache. stuborn and like to give excuse... but then they are cute sometimes. haha! qi yang and zi xuan, they are siblings, zi xuan did her responsible very much as an elder sister. good~

yew de, sharro and brian. yew de is my "boss" son, an active boy. sharro, a hyperactive girl that always has the energy. one of my favourite student too~! brian is her youger brother, i didn't teach him much, but then as i know, he is a troublesome student too. haha...

i'll miss them so much~ aikz...

wow~my 1st time at pub!!

This is the front door of the pub. Cool right?

Haha! It's actually an interview with the commitee of the pub name "baze". It's just next to renencence hotel (I don't know the spelling). A joyful and relax interview. They are pretty and yet full of passion! Haha!

The four of us who is under age but still can in the V.I.P room! Haha!! I want to buy clothes!! I want look lady!! They are so great in wearing! haha!! Got a bit sot sot adi, drink a bit of wine just now. Haha!!

a dream of him...

I think it's because I miss him too much. I dream of him... It's a dream that I had to attend a dinner, and I've invited him. His attend make me surprise. I was damn happy and ecxited! When I saw him, I was like hug him tight and be with him where ever he go. In a sudden, my brother wake me up! Oh my god! I don't care about him and continue with my dream. But this time, he was scolding me, scold me for like tp judge other people without looking at myself. I can feel the sad very clear, it was so real... When I awake, I can't stop myself, I just burst into cry and I was wishing that was real. I really miss him a lot. I rather he scold me right infront of me than just running away from me, don't pick up my phone, don't reply my message. It's more hurt than scolding me... I really miss him...

a gift from my buddy!

This is a gift from my buddy, Quek~! It's a little jar with little jelly and a big bean. What special about it is, there are a love symbol and words on it. The words are 'only you'! I received this on this wednesday, which is our guest event. I'm really happy that somebody will give me present without any special event, it's just a gift that she think she want to give me~! So~ Happy~! Haha... Thank you Quek! I'll grow this to a big plant!

Just graduated from AW advance course!!

It's been how many days i didn't up date my blog... hm... I don't know. Haha!! Anyway, it's kind a busy after the advance course, a lot things are waiting to be done during this holiday. Wow! a full filled holiday, everyday busying. Anyway, I like this kind of life! Haha!! Those people in the picture are my buddies that went through the advance course journey with me. It's kind a fun, exciting and full of memory. Believe me, they are great and we become best friend in just 5 days! What i experience through the course is living as a human being in this world. Everything is done 100% and with a great urgency! Haha... I've been running away from a lot of things that i don't feel it's comfortable, because of that, i lost a lot of chances. Honestly, I was running away to become an adult too, as te adult life seem so hard and tough. Now, I'm no longer acting cute or blur, i'm an adult now that dare to express what I know and what i think about. It's not a shame, it's just the way to let other people get connected with me. I'm going to Leadership program next month, for me, it's full of mysterious and I'm really excited about it. Don't think too much, just go for anything with your heart, ask your heart, what you want and just go for it! Go! Go! Go!