a huge rock with words...

my heart is like this picture... as if can touch, but it's actually very far, very far... yes, now, i'm going nearer to my heart. i saw a rock, a huge rock with words on it, blocking the way to "love"... i wonder, "who leave this here? what's the words on it?" i knew it very clearly, it's me... i've closed the posibilities, the words are "i still can't let go him"... ya, a lot of excuses, a lot of back doors. everytime i move that rock, i will just move a bit, so it just like never moved... who can help me? nobody except myself... let go... although it will hurt and tough... just let go...

Happy new year!!

yeah~!! this is the BBQ party i organise~!! thank you for all of your support to make this a success! i enjoyed a lot! a new relationship had build up between us as well, cool~! haha... the most important is everybody enjoy themselves! oh~ a bit blur blur now as those in front of the pic almost didn't sleep the whole night, haha! that's the spirit of the youngster! haha... it's a very special new year eve for me! get over with a gang of energetic families! haha... although at first there's like a gap between the guest, but later on they can mix together so well~ if it's longer, i think we will play like crazy people! haha... anyway, wish all of my friends and family, happy new year!!! just enjoy and appreciate this brand new year!

although there's happiness, sad and down feeling still comes to me. SL went clubbing with Jp that gang and helped me to transfer some message to him... and... just as what i knew with his response... but, there's still expectation from me that won't have any possibility to happen. sadness concurred my mind, my heart... i know i should let it go, shift, keep on shift, but it's really hard. just can't help myself... SL told me he was very drunk last night, and yet simply hug girls in the club... although SL also told me that he falls from the stairs, need many people to bring him to the car... but, what's in my mind, what i processed is just, "he simply hug girls"... just... really can't help myself... haiz...